Two and a Half Men ratings boffo in Ashton Kutcher's debut

Daybreak Daily’s afternoon stumble into the pop-culture world finds men that are not quite three, Bealtes stuff, Chaz stuff, and much more.

KELSO!: Per the AP, “Ashton Kutcher has bragging rights over Charlie Sheen. Kutcher's debut in the CBS sitcom "Two and a Half Men" on Monday was seen by 27.7 million people. The Nielsen company says that's more than any other episode in the first eight seasons, when Sheen was the star.”{ }

MEANWHILE: Per the L.A. Times, “CBS' cash-cow sitcom "Two and a Half Men" gathered its skirts and trudged into the future Monday night. The coffin over which the camera moved in the opening shot of the series' ninth season contained not just the character that Charlie Sheen had played for eight years, but in a pointedly metaphorical way, Sheen himself. (In a parallel narrative stream, the actual rock star from Mars would get his Comedy Central roast an hour later.) They had come to bury him, player and played, and hardly to praise him: to sweep out the ashes –- to vacuum them up in a Dust Buster, eventually –- and roll out the carpet for his younger, taller, prettier, buffer and sure-to-be-less troublesome replacement.”

ELVIS COSTELLO SAYS OF THE BEATLES (intro to top 100): Per Rolling Stone, “They were the first group to mess with the aural perspective of their recordings and have it be more than just a gimmick. Engineers like Geoff Emerick invented techniques that we now take for granted, in response to the group's imagination. Before the Beatles, you had guys in lab coats doing recording experiments, but you didn't have rockers deliberately putting things out of balance, like a quiet vocal in front of a loud track on "Strawberry Fields Forever." You can't exaggerate the license that this gave to everyone from Motown to Jimi Hendrix.”

YOU GO, CHAZ: Per TMZ, “Gloria Allred celebrated Chaz Bono's debut on "Dancing with the Stars" last night -- gender-bending her way through a tranny dance party in West Hollywood ... and the video clip is incredible.”

YOU GO, CHER: Per People, “Judging from recent interviews and Tweets, it is clear that Cher has nothing but love and support for her transgender son Chaz Bono.But that doesn't necessarily mean the iconic entertainer, 65, always believes Bono is capable of everything he sets out to do.”{ }

AH, PIPPA: Per Access Hollywood, “LONDON, U.K. -- Style icon Pippa Middleton took a front row seat as one of her favorite designers, Temperley London, unveiled its Spring/Summer 2012 collection at London Fashion Week. The catwalk show Monday at the British Museum launched elegantly glamorous designs inspired by the silver screen. The 28-year-old Middleton wore a long emerald green dress designed by Alice Temperley to the April 29 royal wedding reception at Buckingham Palace to celebrate her older sister Kate’s marriage to Prince William.”

THE COPS: Per CNN, “If anyone knows how to throw a party, it’s Sting. And the musician has good reason to pull out all the stops for his upcoming birthday – he’s turning 60. (We know what you're thinking, because we thought it too: "Wha…?! Sting is 60? How did this happen?!") “I don't feel 60,” Sting tells CNN. “I feel like I'm 14-and-a-half in many respects.” Nevertheless, the celebration planned for October 1 (his actual birthday is the 2nd) is definitely more suited to a veteran rock star than a pimply teenager. Pals Lady Gaga, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Stevie Wonder, and Vince Gill are among those who will join him on stage at New York’s Beacon Theatre for a charity concert.”

GOOD FOR HER: Per E!, “Now that estrogen injections have mellowed her out and she's not as angry as she used to be, as she recently told O, it looks like Rosie O'Donnell has found love again. The former Queen of Nice stepped out with her new girlfriend, Michelle Rounds, on Monday night at O'Donnell's annual Rosie Theater Kids Gala in New York City.”

SIGH: Per Radar, “The investigation into the deaths of Rebecca Zahau and Max Shacknai has taken some incredible twists and turns over the past six weeks and now grieving boyfriend and father, Jonah Shacknai, has sent a request to the California attorney general asking that the inquiry be reopened in both cases, has learned. . . Rebecca’s naked body was found hanging from the balcony of Shacknai's mansion in Coronado, CA. (a suburb of San Diego), on July 13, two days after his son, Max, 6, was found unconscious at the base of the stairs. Max later died from his injuries.”

HMMMM: Per indieWIRE, “Roland Emmerich, whose Shakespeare-subverting drama Anonymous will hit theaters October 28, is planning another trip down history lane, but this time not as far back and not any time soon. The director is planning to make Happy Birthday Mr. President - “The title will tell you everything” - but says digital technology is not yet where it needs to be for him to make it the way he wants, i.e. with digitally manipulated and aged actors.”

JOE BARBER: Per WTOP, “Longtime WTOP entertainment editor Joe Barber has died of natural causes. Barber was found dead Monday in his Northwest Washington, D.C. home. Barber, 53, and a native Washingtonian, worked as an entertainment reviewer and cultural critic for a variety of Washington-area, national broadcast and print outlets for 20 years.”

AND FINALLY: Today’s mystery music video.

--Skip Wood