Lady Gaga (Joe) wanted a kiss but Britney declined; Sheen stuff

BUT WHERE WAS MARTHA QUINN?: Per Rolling Stone, “The MTV Video Music Awards were a major spectacle as always, with flashy performances, often bizarre outfits and an abundance of bleeped-out chatter. The backstage scene was about as wild as you'd expect, but without the pyro and, thankfully, no bleeping at all whatsoever.”

BUMP IN THE NIGHT: Per People, “She was destined to have a child, and she'll be wonderful at it. That's Kelly Rowland's take on the big news that her former Destiny's Child bandmate Beyoncé is expecting her first child with husband Jay-Z.”

WHAT WOULD MADONNA SAY?: Per Access Hollywood, “Lady Gaga left many scratching their heads on Sunday night . . . with her male alter ego Jo Calderone, even Britney Spears! The pair almost shared a kiss on stage after Gaga presented Britney with her award. “We got onstage and we felt it out,” Britney explained of their onstage banter. After Gaga – or Jo – went in for a smooch, Britney pulled away with a laugh and a smile.”

COMPLETE LIST OF WINNERS: Per Entertainment Weekly,{ }

WINNING: Per TMZ, “Cocaine ... hangovers ... and mug shots -- Mike Tyson and Charlie Sheen are a match made in Comedy Central Roast heaven ... and TMZ has learned Iron Mike is officially on board to skewer the Warlock next month.”

STALE POPCORN: Per the Wall Street Journal, “Walt Disney Co.'s drama "The Help" repeated as the top-grossing film at the North American box office this past weekend, as attendance overall was battered by Hurricane Irene and select theater closures in the Northeast. The top 12 films this weekend earned a total of $73.2 million, 23% less than the $95.1 million grossed by the top 12 films during the same time frame last year.”

GOLDEN GIRL: Per indieWIRE, “Helen Mirren recently won a L.A. Fitness “Best Body” poll. Was she aware, asks Vulture? “I couldn’t very well avoid it, could I?” she says. She beat out the likes of Jennifer Lopez, and thinks it’s a beautiful thing: “I think it was recognition of the fact that you don’t have to be perfect.”

POLITICO BLINK: “Twitter is expanding its Washington presence. The San Francisco-based social networking company announced Monday — via tweet, of course — that telecom policy veteran Colin Crowell will become Twitter’s head of global public policy.”

NOT NEVERLAND: Per the AP, “Michael Jackson's children and father visited the late pop star's boyhood home in Gary, Ind., today as the town celebrated what would have been his 53rd birthday.”{ }

AND FINALLY: Today’s mystery music video.{ }

--Skip Wood