DAYBREAK POP: Jennifer Aniston naked?; Bert and Ernie are not gay

DAMN DIRTY APES: Per Rolling Stone, “Four new films are opening in theaters this weekend, but it's unlikely any of them will be able to end the box office reign of "Planet of the Apes." The movie's new competitors include literary adaptation "The Help," the only film with a shot at beating "Apes," horror sequel "Final Destination 5," R-rated comedy "30 Minutes or Less" and "Glee: The 3-D Concert Movie," based on the popular TV show.”

IF YOU SAY SO: Per People, “Fresh off being named America's Favorite Dancer on Thursday night, So You Think You Can Dance season 8 winner Melanie Moore was still recovering from the shock of her victory that to many viewers had been a forgone conclusion since the beginning of the season. "I was ready to take second [place] very graciously. In my head I really thought Sasha was going to win," Moore told reporters.”

WINNING! Per TMZ, “Charlie Sheen has a message to the people at "Two and a Half Men" -- WARLOCKS CANNOT BE KILLED BY A TRAIN!!!! TMZ has obtained the first promotional photo for Sheen's upcoming "Comedy Central Roast" -- where the obvious message seems to be that the CRAZY TRAIN is coming to town ... and Charlie's the conductor.”

HERE’S THE TEASE: Per the Insider, “Ben Stiller may have come up with the best charity foundation ever! In a funny new video promoting The Stiller Foundation, an organization that focuses on "building schools in areas affected by poverty around the world," Stiller jokingly announced the launch of the See Jennifer Aniston Naked Foundation.”{ }

THE WHITE ALBUM IT’S NOT: Per E!, “Seriously, Coldplay? ‘Mylo Xyloto’ ? OK then. The Brit rockers unveiled the title and cover art for their forthcoming fifth studio album this morning, and it certainly seems like they had their spellcheck off when they hit send on the press release.”

RIP MR. LANE: Per the L.A. Times, “Jani Lane, the lead singer for Hollywood metal band Warrant, was found dead in a Woodland Hills hotel on Thursday evening, and with the news, a whole generation is reliving some classics of the so-called "hair metal" era.
Warrant's biggest hits, "Cherry Pie," "Heaven" and "Sometimes She Cries," displayed the yin and yang of teenage desire.”

THIS IS SO DUMB: Per the Huffington Post, “Bert and Ernie will not be getting married. To each other, or anyone else. The demands of a petition calling for Bert and Ernie to get married, which has become an internet sensation in the last few years, has been gently denied by the Sesame Street Workshop, (which) issued this statement on (its) Facebook page: ‘Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.’

SILLY BANDS WERE HOT, TOO: Per Celebuzz!, “Hollywood ladies dying their hair crayon colors is a full on epidemic! The latest star spotted with some funky colored locks? Glee star Dianna Agron! The 24-year-old actress was seen sporting a new pink hair ‘do (with matching sunglasses to boot) while out and about in LA on Thursday.”

POLITICO BLINK: “This is a pretty good looking crowd,” President Obama said at a New York fundraiser Thursday night.
When the guest list includes names like Gwyneth Paltrow, her husband Chris Martin, Jimmy Fallon, Vera Wang, Anna Wintour and Alicia Keys, the president could be accused of understatement.

LIVE FROM NEW YORK: Per the AP, “Alec Baldwin earns bragging rights as the most familiar "Saturday Night Live" host when he opens the NBC show's 37th season on Sept. 24. It will be his 16th time as host. The "30 Rock" actor moves past Steve Martin, who has done it 15 times. Radiohead will be the musical guest, the network said Friday.”{ }

AND FINALLY: Today’s mystery video.

--Skip Wood