'Total Recall' reviews not exactly stellar for movie's remake

CREDIT: Orion and Sony

Daybreak Daily’s visit to the pop-culture zoo finds a new movie that’s an old movie, a tired subject, other things, and the mystery music video.

RECALL IN TOTAL: To set the scene, per the New York Times, “In the future according to “Total Recall” — the new version, not the 1990 movie with the same name and the same alleged source in a Philip K. Dick story — Earth has been devastated by chemical warfare, leaving only two populated areas connected by a tunnel through the planet’s core. On one end of the chute, known as the Fall, is a sleek successor to Britain, an imperial metropole that exploits the teeming, watery Colony (Australia with elements of futuristic Hong Kong and Bangkok) down below.”

AND THE VERDICTS: Well, judge for yourself, per the Los Angeles Times, “After too many hard-to-follow chases out windows and doors and up and down ultramodern elevator shafts, after too many people saying things like "this is going to sound crazy," "Jesus Christ, it's hard to believe" and "you've got to be kidding me," our systems end up on overload. And there is nothing very futuristic — or entertaining — about that.”

MILD PRAISE: However briefly, per The Hollywood Reporter, “The outcome is engaging enough, though not entirely satisfying from either a genre or narrative standpoint, lacking substance and a degree of imagination. Brand recognition, along with the curiosity factor and a name cast in muscular action roles, should make for a lucrative first weekend, but falloff could be somewhat steep in subsequent frames.”

NO PRAISE: As in, “ouch,” per Rolling Stone, “This futuristic fiasco, a wretched remake of 1990's Total Recall, can't begin to erase memories of director Paul Verhoeven's kinky, hot-wired original in which Arnold Schwarzenegger memorably shot movie wife Sharon Stone and bitchslapped her with "consider dat a dee-vorce." Since the new Recall is totally witless, don't expect laughs.”

IN SUMMATION: Getting the idea, yet?, per the aforementioned NYT lead-in, “The movie has a lot of chasing, shouting and fighting, carried out in crowded, overscale frames without much regard for either action-film effectiveness or narrative coherence. So much information is thrown at you in such a haphazard fashion that your ability to care dwindles along with your willingness to enjoy any of it.”

MEANWHILE: Awkward alert, per People, “The show must go on for Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. The Breaking Dawn: Part 2 costars – and exes – who are barely speaking following Stewart's recent cheating scandal with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, are still scheduled to join the rest of their cast to promote the final film in the Twilight saga.”

AND THIS: Seems a bit over the top, per Radar, “Kristen Stewart has been banished from attending Robert Pattinson’s up and coming New York movie premiere, is exclusively reporting. Security staff have been told to keep K-Stew, 22, away from the red carpet and after party for the Cosmopolis premiere on August 13, in fear she may use it as an excuse to speak with R-Pattz in person.”

MEANWHILE: Confusion, per the Washington Post, “Vulture had reported this afternoon that Stewart was on board for the film, having snagged the part of Peyton Loftis that also piqued the interest of Jennifer Lawrence. I blogged off that news, as did many other media outlets. But a source close to the production tells Celebritology that reports of Stewart’s casting are premature, issuing the following statement: “While it’s exciting to see all the interest the project is generating, the film is still in the pre-production process and no offers to cast have been made as of yet.”

SOCIAL MOVIES: This is somehow depressing, per the Wall Street Journal, “Hollywood is doing more than using Twitter and Facebook as mere promotional tools. After several years of experimenting, studios have thrown themselves deeply into a medium which is still barely understood. They are now developing elaborate social media campaigns early on, sometimes as soon as a film gets greenlit. Researchers are conducting deep numerical analysis on posts and tweets to guide marketing decisions, sometimes predicting box office revenue with pinpoint accuracy. They're looking not just at opening movies, but sustaining their word-of-mouth through subsequent weeks. And they are getting more surgical about targeting their ever-fickle, ever-elusive core audience of young people.“

AND FINALLY: Today’s mystery music video.

--Skip Wood (Follow me on Twitter @DaybreakSkip)